A couple of weeks back, we went to a Pre-School reunion and his first (ever) teacher commented on how “weird” his “poops” were (when he was in diapers). Sadly, that same day, we were watching a show on PBS called Dinosaur Train and the theme of the show was “Everybody Poops”. It seemed that on this particular Saturday, I couldn’t escape poop! This double whammy of poop interactions reminded me of just how important poop really is. And like every 3 year old, K is OBSESSED with his poop! He affectionately screams from the bathroom when he poops, asks me to help wash his booty and always let’s me know that he “made a snake” or a “volcano” or whatever!!! When I say obsessed—I ain’t kidding folks! But as I normally do, I digress!!!
Yet, several months’ back, these same kinds of things were swirling through my head because I was concerned that K had come home from Ethiopia with some kind of intestinal thing. It’s a given thing that, ya know, the water isn’t that great in certain parts of the world and you could have a parasite just lurking around!!! And… his poop was HIDEOUS and was never solid (TMI? Probably, but really, I am getting to the point… soon). When I took him to the doctor for a failed allergy thingy (failed because when I called to make the appointment, he was congested and had a runny nose, but once we got there, he was fine), I mentioned my “poop” concerns, so she decided to run some tests to rule out a parasite. Awesome! Win for Mom for remembering the “other” concern I had!
Being a first time mom, I thought, “Oh thank goodness!!! Can’t wait to find out if there is anything ‘wrong’ with his intestinal track” until she handed me 5 vials, a plastic “potty” that sits on the potty itself, and rubber gloves! Um… what kind of tests??? Apparently, I didn’t know that I needed to collect “samples” and “scoop” them into these tiny containers. EGAD! Not only that, they give you these “mini” scoops that are attached to the top of the lid of these “collection” tubes. It’s pretty nasty! And like I have said before, why wasn’t there some sort of class or pamphlet about this before I became a mom? I had to learn about how to talk to my kid about trans-racial issues (which I totally get), but no one told me that I might have to scoop his crap into a vial, keep it in my fridge and then bring it back to the doctor?
Sadly, there is no good way to collect this (literal) crap for the doctor and since I had a morning meeting on the day I was supposed to drop it off, I essentially had to carry it around in my purse for a couple of hours until I could get back to the “lab” to return those samples. Nothing like a crap filled purse to start your day off!
So…what’s the moral of this post? Why would I spend time writing about poop? Nothing really. Sometimes, as parents (as people) we need to do a job that is just strait up shi$%y. We do it. We hate it, but we do it!
Good news was that, no, he didn’t have a parasite. Bad news… my son has just really horrific poop!
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