Who woulda thought that that woulda happened at IHOP!?

I am blessed to work at a place that gives me the week between Christmas and New Years off, and that it’s paid!  Not only that, my dad’s birthday falls during this week, so it’s been our tradition for me to take him to lunch (just the two of us) on his birthday!  Since I have become a mama, obviously, K has joined us and my dad loves it even more now, I think.

So, as per our usual, we went to a late breakfast/early lunch and it was his choice of where to go. My dad, being the decadent guy that he is, chose IHOP!  When I asked him why, he simply said, “I think K will like it because you can see the train tracks from the window, and I like the food, why?”  I wasn’t’ berating his choice, I just didn’t think that this would be his choice since I was footing the bill!!!

But as I have learned, everything happens for a reason.  K does love the view from IHOP.  He can see all the cars on the 6 lane road and the railroad crossing—it’s like a little bit of heaven for him!  Yet, this time was different. As we were walking out, this woman approached me and asked me where my son was born!  I could tell by looking at her that she was from the Motherland, but wasn’t sure if she was Ethiopian, Eritrean or Somalian (not saying they all look alike, so don’t send me hate mail, I just didn’t want to assume anything!!!).  After I told her he was born in Ethiopia, she said, “I am from Ethiopia too!  Can I ask his name?” 

Fast forward 15 minutes.  It was an amazing conversation in the parking lot of IHOP.  Come to find out, her son shares K’s birth name and she lives locally.  She was stoked to discover that there was a little Ethiopian community right here in Orange County.  I shared with her about all of our friends and that we were celebrating Timket in January and that we had just recently eaten at Tana Restaurant in Anaheim and that many of us have gone to culture class in LA. 

We exchanged numbers and she hugged both K and me.  As with most of my encounters with Ethiopians, it was beautiful!  But, it was not only a wonderful encounter; it was fantastic for my dad to see it as well.  Since my dad didn’t travel with me to pick up K in Ethiopia, he hasn’t seen much native, adult Ethiopian reaction to my adoption.  He has asked me, on several occasions, how Ethiopians feel about Westerners adopting “their” kids, so I know it’s a concern of his.  He is very aware of my feelings about making sure that not only K, but others KNOW that he is ETHIOPIAN-American! He was so happy to have had the chance to talk with her and hear her thoughts.

As we pulled out of the parking lot at IHOP, we were all grins and basically shared the same sentence over and over—wow!  Who woulda thought that that woulda happened at IHOP!?

K’s First World Problems—Things that, in his mind, really SUCK!!!

*In no particular order

When the pink computer (AKA the iPad 2) battery is low

When his light saber batteries are dead

When the batteries in his RC truck are dead.

Wailing and gnashing of teeth occur if I don’t let him push the “start” button on the microwave.

When he isn’t allowed to push the garage door button to watch the door close

When I let him choose which shoes he wants to wear to T-ball—he can choose between 4 pairs.

When all 4 of his Buzz Lightyear shirts are dirty and that’s the shirt he REAALLLLY wanted to wear to school.

Having to choose between his two sets of rain boots

Only getting to go on the Casey Jr. train at Disneyland 2 times instead of 3 (or any ride since we go at least once a week).

When I only let him play at the park after school for 30 minutes because, um, it’s DARK OUT!!!

Only going to 4 pumpkin patches instead of as many as he wanted.

And the list goes on and on and on!!!

National Adoption Awareness Month

November is National Adoption Awareness month!  Let’s get involved somehow in the orphan crisis worldwide, please?!

So Why Adoption?

I hear many people say that adoption is a great cause - “I’ll definitely look into it if I can’t have my own kids.”  While that is the reason many couples across the globe choose to turn to the wonderful method of adoption to bring little bundles of joy into their lives, it shouldn’t be the only reason one considers adoption. 

The Need

The need for loving families to adopt is great. In 2008, it was reported by the Children’s Bureau of the Administration for Children and Families of the United States Department of Health and Human Services that in America alone, there were 123,000 orphans (NumberOf.net).  But why should we? It’s not our fault their parents’ died or are abusers or druggies or have been put in jail, right? What does it matter to us?

As humans, we desire to help others and to heal the hurting.  The issue of orphans and the lack of adoption taking place to help them is a large problem in today’s world - a world we all call home.  Many organizations are reaching out and identifying the needs orphans face around the world.  Social workers, humanitarians, activists - all are seeing the need, the hurt, and going to being a better life to a child in need. 

Consider It

While I strongly believe that as many loving families as can should adopt, I am not saying it is for everyone or should be required for every family.  What I do strongly believe is that every family should at least consider the possibility of becoming an adoptive family, helping orphans in some way, or find a way to assist an adoptive family.  Adoption is not something every family can or should do. However, every person should help orphans in some way or another.  

My hope is that, this month, this blog will encourage you to consider ways to get involved in supporting the cause of the orphans and adoption.

What will your role be?

10,000 pictures

At a birthday party yesterday, my camera “rolled over” back to 1…  I have taken over 10,000 pictures with this handy-dandy thing.  As Coach Gray asked, “How many of them are of K?”  Um, probably about 9000!!!

What I'm ABout

I am all about being a mom
I am all about being a daughter, friend, girlfriend (someday a wife)
I am all about the worldwide orphan crisis—especially the one in this country.
I am all about getting people, worldwide, access to clean drinking water.
I am all about eradicating any form of slavery—yes people, it still exists.
I am all about being a goofball
I am all about watching reality TV while I cringe as I write that.
I am all about God and who He is and what He has done in my life
I am all about loving my neighbor—no matter what.
I am all about raising my son to know who he is—not just as a man of color, but that he has a wonderfully amazing Ethiopian heritage.
I am all about being proud of who you are
I am all about self confidence and not letting people pigeon hole you.
I am all about speaking to my son in Amharic, even if it makes some people uncomfortable.
I am all about love
I am all about giving of my time, talent and treasure to help someone.
I am all about giving back to my community because, why shouldn’t we?
I am all about feeding people who are hungry
I am all about being aware of what’s going on in other parts of the world.
I am all about travel
I am all about gratefulness

I am all about being born and raised in Southern California, but can appreciate other places too
I am all about faithfulness
I am all about freedom of speech, even if I don’t like what you have to say. Hey, you may not like what I have to say either and that’s ok.
I am all about agreeing to disagree.
I am all about Disneyland

I am all about the Lakers
I am all about quality time
I am all about being authentic
I am all about honesty—even when it sucks

This is just the short list…for now!!!

PumpkinStein

K’s school always participates in the annual “Treats in the Streets” in Old Towne Orange.  Each year that class goes as a theme—this year was “Peter Pan and Friends”.  His teachers put it all together and they do an amazing job!  And the kids always look so cute!!!

Afterwards, we go back to school and do a pizza party, but this year, we did a new thing—a pumpkin derby!  When I got the flyer about it, I thought, “Cool, stab some sticks through a pumpkin and strap on some wheels and let’s do this thing!”  However, when I showed the flyer to my dad (AKA Grandpa), he told me, “I will take care of this!” I left this task in his capable hands!

Four days of brainstorming and measuring and researching and painting wheels and stabbing the pumpkin, and looking for the perfectly sized pumpkin and FINALLY, it was ready for us to “decorate”.  I had some leftover “potato head” pumpkin things from a party last year, but asked K how he wanted to decorate it.  He wanted to do the Frankenstein potato head stuff!  I was all for it—not having to whip out paint and brushes (and painting shirts and plastic for the table and…well you get the idea) was a dream come true!

Now once we got to see the competition, I admit, I was a BIT intimidated, but hey, it’s just all in fun, right?  Hmmmmm.  Even if ours sucked, no one would care, would they?  Well, I thought, at least our pumpkin had a cool name—PumpkinStein!

We were in the last heat, and I had witnessed some pretty serious contenders wipe out big time—like all the wheels disintegrating before it even hit the pavement!!!  So I wasn’t wholly hopeful that ours would kick butt—but WE DID!!!  In our first round, our pumpkin beat everyone for distance!  It was AWESOME!  And K (and my dad) were beyond stoked!  K chased it down the street but couldn’t keep up!  He was beside himself!

In the championship round, we completely kicked butt!  Not only did K win a prize for longest run, he also won the overall race!  It was so great—not only for K, but for my dad!  They are best friends, and I was so glad that they got to share this moment! 

*And not only that, the other dad’s were trying to pimp the winning info outta my dad as to how he built that mutha of a machine!  He certainly DIDN’T share any trade secrets!!!*

Just call me proud Mama (and daughter!).  Go PumpkinStein!!!  Go Team Williams!!!

Halloween Bliss

Since this is K’s only second time waltzing into the holiday season, the only one that really “stuck” from last year was…yeah, you called it—Halloween.  Let’s face it, Thanksgiving isn’t REALLY a holiday for kids under the 10 year old mark (getting days off of school really only matter for the tweens and up, right?!)  And ChritmaHannuKwanzaaKet (Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or Timket) can be a bit overwhelming to a kid who just learned English!

I admit, Fall is my FAVORITE season (not the we get real seasons in Cali).  I love the colors of fall, I look good in fall colors and I love how Disneyland decorates for Halloweentime!  K loves it too!!!  Pumpkins are recognizable.  Last year, I kinda shoved the holidays down his throat and I wanted him to experience EVERYTHING he could—meaning that I think we went to like 7 pumpkin patches last year and went trick-or-treating like 4 separate times at various locations.  Hey, he was a cute Buzz Lightyear and I wanted to get my money’s worth for that darn costume!!!

Well, as we walk into this Halloween season, it’s ALL he can talk about.  As you have seen, he will be a dinosaur, and not just any dinosaur—but the Buddy from Dinosaur Train who just so happens to be, according to K, the biggest dinosaur in the Cretaceous.  He is in LOVE with Pumpkins of any kind, but doesn’t quite know what a Jack-O-Lantern is.  He has been to (this year) 4 pumpkin patches and can’t get enough of them, but can’t be bothered with trick-or-treating!

You gotta love a kid who enjoys the simple things—a good costume, pumpkin patches where the pumpkins remain intact, and growling like a dinosaur!  Forget the candy or the anticipation of knowing that once this Halloween gig is over, it’s on to ChritmaHannuKwanzaaKet!  It’s allllllllllll about Halloween with my kid!!!

36 hours…

A couple of weekends ago, I had a bad one.  No matter what I did, it didn’t seem like I could get it together, as a mom.  K was in a mood—and granted, everyone is allowed to have a bad day, but we were jam-packed with activities with friends, so public meltdowns and attitude is NEVER fun.  It seemed like no matter what I did or how I corrected him, he was contrary. 

Well, within a 36-hour period, I cried at least 10 times.  Not just tears welling up in my eyes, but serious tears.  After about the third cry, I started keeping track.  Why not capture each moment where I had mini-meltdowns.  *Coach Gray was very supportive, just want y’all to know that!*

Sometimes, I feel really confident about this “being a mom” thing and on weekends like this, I feel like I suck worse than a moldy piece of bread! 

So here you go:

Some random commercial about a show on Lifetime Movie Network

K telling me “You my favorite Mommy!”

Tarzan—conversation with his mom about how they are different, but the same, “See we’re exactly the same!”

Tarzan—conversation with his mom when he is about to leave and he says, “No matter where I go, you will always be my mother.”

K refusing to say, “I love you” to me when he went to bed after a day of discipline and punishments.

K telling me he loved me, first words out of his mouth when he woke up in the morning.

Ending of Toy Story 3 (gets me every time!!!).

When K got dressed all by himself—head to toe (even socks and shoes—and on the right feet).

K telling me, “Our life is super big awesome Mommy!”

After trying to utilize different discipline techniques with K for being rude and sassy and not listening and _______________, and nothing seemed to work—I just sat down on the floor and cried!

Tuesday Truth-day! October 11, 2011

*I will use each Tuesday to rat myself out about something!  It’s all in good fun and I am sure that these “truth-day” revelations won’t be things people don’t already know about me!

Ok, old, angry guy in your Honda Element, I KNOW I was wrong!!!  I apologize for going first when we were at a four way stop and you were there first, but here’s why.  Since you didn’t use your blinker—I didn’t know that you needed to turn left and you did indeed have the right of way!  I would have gladly given it to you.  I KNOW you were there first, but that’s why you have a blinker—USE IT!  And here’s the other thing—did you really need to bust a U-turn and follow me back to my job to cuss me out?  Really?  Didja? And since you wouldn’t even listen to my reason as to why I proceeded, I guess you didn’t really care.  But like I said, I know you had the right of way, but try using a blinker next time.  Thanks and God Bless you sir!

Bedtime: It’s Not a Secret

It seems as if every evening, it’s a surprise to K that it’s time to go to bed.  We start our “dance”, if you will, around 645 PM and it wraps up around 8 or 830.  Now, for those of you who know me—you know that I am a stickler for schedules.  I have him on a schedule, and I like to keep that schedule (as much as I can).  During the summer, it’s tougher since it’s lighter out longer, but this time of year, when it’s dark by 7 PM, it’s bedtime.  Not only that, during the week, it’s pretty much the same thing: come home from school, cook dinner while K plays, eat dinner together, watch 30 minutes of TV (but only if he was good at school), bath time, teeth time, reading time and bedtime. 

Nothing has really shifted for the past (going on) 2 years dude.  So why are you surprised when I say, “Ok, it’s time to go upstairs for bath time!!!”   Not only that, I try to remind him, “K, you have 2 minutes before it’s time to go upstairs and take your bath.”  This shouldn’t be a surprise, by the way!  This is what we do—seriously, 5 out of 7 days a week.  He always looks shocked when I tell him that it’s time to get ready for bed!  Really?  Really?

Here are the answers to the major questions that I get at least once a night:

Yes, you have take a bath.

Yes, you are going to school tomorrow (unless it’s Friday).

No, you can’t watch more TV.

Yes, you have to use toothpaste when you brush your teeth.

No, you can’t have juice!  We just brushed your teeth!

You have already had 3 (or 4 or 8) last sips of water!

Yes, it’s time for you to close your eyes and go to sleep!

Ok, I will give you one last kiss and hug for tonight! (After like 8 previous ones).

Once this kid is asleep, there could be a rave going on in this house and he wouldn’t wake up, but getting him there is a nightly effort!

Tuesday Truth-day! September 27, 2011

*I will use each Tuesday to rat myself out about something!  It’s all in good fun and I am sure that these “truth-day” revelations won’t be things people don’t already know about me!

Thank you lady in the Honolulu airport for your “kind” comments to me.  It would have been nice if you had just stepped to me like a grown up to share your thoughts about my raising a black child, but I guess not.  Sadly, you are clearly not a mature woman who can ask questions about our family, but make assumptions and then speak them loudly enough so that I can hear you.  And I know you were talking about us because, let’s face it, how many black kids with white Mamas were there at the Honolulu airport.  Jus sayin’!

I pity you, but at the same time, I have compassion for you, so that’s why I stepped to you and “confronted” you.  I know it caught you off guard, but oh well.  I know you weren’t prepared for me to want to sit next to you in the crowded gate area to ask you why you felt it necessary to make such comments about me or my child.  I know you were caught off guard when I asked you if you really wanted to know how we became a family and what I teach my son about his Ethiopian-American heritage.  I know it caught you off guard that I speak his native language and know how many countries make up the continent of Africa (not that this takes rocket science to know, but you didn’t know how many there were, so…).  I know you weren’t ready for me to tell you that I have taken my son to culture class, that we hang out with other Ethiopian-American kids, and that I take pride in and love his culture.  I know you weren’t prepared for my kindness towards you. Actually, you probably didn’t think that I would even say anything to you. Well, you were wrong.  And now you know that you were wrong on so many levels. 

So, thank you fellow traveler who lives in LA, but couldn’t tell me where “Little Ethiopia” was.  Thank you for making me even more determined to educate ignorant folks and to make sure that my son isn’t one of them!

PS—beware of the Mama Bear lady, and you best be thankful that I love God!  Believe that!

Conversation of the day in Hawaii—three times a charm

Scene:  Beach

60-something married couple (60SMC):  Is that your son?

Me:  Yes he is.

60SMC:  Would you mind if we asked you some questions about him?  It’s obvious that he wasn’t born in the US.  He is breathtaking and such a happy kid!!!

Me:  Thank you!  And you are correct—he was born in Ethiopia.  I agree—he is pretty amazing!  We became a family a little over a year and a half ago.

60SMC:  How wonderful!  We have some friends of friends who just adopted from Haiti right before the earthquake.  Since we don’t know them very well, I would love to use the correct verbiage when talking to them about their son.  We haven’t met anyone else who has ever adopted.  Is that weird to ask you?

Me:  Not at all.  I wish more people would ask.  Go ahead and ask away…

Twenty minute conversation that turned into an appropriate adoption terminology.

60SMC:  Your son is so lucky to have you for a mom.  We can’t tell you how much this means to us.  We know how precious family is and to be able to become a family—no matter how it happens, is a miracle.

Me:  Thank you!  But I have to tell you.  I am the one who is blessed.  He has changed my whole life for the better.

60SMC:  Well, it shows on both of your faces.

*We parted ways!  This conversation left me smiling!