“Mama, I’m brown and you’re… (index finger tapping his bottom lip)…kinda brown”

Yes, more thoughts about my kid, race, and (possibly) adoption!  I know, I know, for those of you who hate the fact that my life has come down to me ONLY talking about my kid, let me say—go ahead and just close this screen out right now.  It’s about to happen again!

I get it!  I really do.  I have only been a mom for a year, so I am still working on the whole thing of balancing MY life, HIS life and OUR life!  I used to despise people who couldn’t talk about anything other than their kids.  But now I get it.  He has CONSUMED my life and I am proud to say that I love it.  Everything I do is for him.  Every choice I make affects him.  Every person I bring into our lives effects him.  So, every time I think about my life, it includes him.  And every racist, ignorant, and completely baffling encounter with a stranger pisses me off!!! 

So let’s get into it—I am ALWAYS aware of the race difference between K and me.  It’s not a secret, right?  We all know he’s black and I am white.  He will always be brown and I will always not be.  In an attempt to keep a dialogue going about race and how, even though we are different, we are still family, we always read books about race (Brown Like Me, All The Colors of the Earth, Black is Brown is Tan, The Color of Us, just to name a few) as well as books about diversity (Whoever you are, The Skin you live in, It’s Okay to be Different, Whose in a Family, etc).   But as I am sure that you can gather, what kind of REAL dialogue can I have with a 3 year old about the intricacies of race.  Ha!  You’d be surprised.  We actually have meaningful conversations about race that I hope are a part of our repartee for years to come!  I want him to know that we can talk about our differences, who we are as individuals, but also, who we are as a family; as people who love each other no matter what.

What I don’t get are adults who clearly DO NOT get it.  Why would you walk up to a stranger and say, “Wow, your kid sure is dark!”  or “Where are his REAL parents?” or my favorite (directed at him), “Is this your Mommy?  Are you sure?!”  Like I said before, EVERYTHING I say, affects him, so I curb my tongue on most occasions.  For the most part, I usually grunt, smile and walk away!  I know myself all too well and once I open that big ole mouth of mine—it’s over. 

Now don’t get all spiritual/judgmental on me—I am a Mama Bear, and I don’t care what anyone says, you mess wit (yes, I said wit) my baby and it’s SO on!  I guess that it really comes down to a few things.  Weren’t we given instructions, even as young children about how to treat others?  I mean really, this is Pre-school stuff.  Shouldn’t we just treat people like we want to be treated?  I don’t know, I guess I am just a dreamer… but I’m not the only one… right?

Nuff said!