Discipline! Oi vey! This is probably one of the worst part of the parental gig! Seriously, it is! We all know it’s a must. We all know we have to do it. We all know we should do it. We all know… yadda yadda yadda! But still—it remains.
I love K so much and waited so long for us to become a family that it’s tough for me to look at discipline in a way where all parties “win” (he gets the point of why he is in trouble and I don’t feel like a big fat meanie). Yet, having said that, I sure as heck don’t want a snotty, rude, disrespectful, kicking, spitting, biting, brat—so discipline is a must. I have read a ton of books and subscribe to a blog that gives me parenting/disciplining advice. I also really try to employ the consequences method as opposed to punishment. He has seemed to be responsive to it and we have been able to work some things out in this area (well…. mostly… he’s 3 y’all! His critical thinking skills are forming, but…).
For those of you who have met my son—you know he’s a pretty sch-nazzy fella! He is respectful and kind (for the most part) and tries really hard to be a “I a goo listen Mama, right?” kind of kid. I speak to him in Amharic (his native language) as well as English and always give praise for even, at least, trying to be polite and use manners and whatnot.
However—the other day, as I came around the corner from the kitchen, I see him about to jump off the couch onto my grandmother’s heirloom coffee table that has a glass top, I screamed, “KWALI ROBEL MUSE! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?????? DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT” He stopped in mid air, fell back on the couch, laughed at me, stood up, looked at me and sweetly said, “Chill out Mommy! Jus chill out!” What I realized was that my tone and body language wasn’t one of discipline or control but that of a crazy person! I went strait up wack-a-doodle on him! I might as well have been running toward him with my arms flailing in the air screaming nothings for all he cared—I would have gotten the same reaction from him.
Here is the hard part—how do you not laugh to your 3 year old repeating back to you what you have said to him at least 100 times?! How do you not laugh when you know that he doesn’t really know what “Chill out” means except that I say it to him when he is whining! So basically, in his mind, I was whining!
I know we all share the same dilemma, but seriously, going wack-a-doodle as a solo parent isn’t cool. Not cool at all Mama!
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