It’s not a gun Mommy, it’s a laser!!!

Weren’t we all perfect moms before we became moms?  I had all these ideas and preconceived notions about what kind of mom I would be once I became a mom.  I had an opinion for every mom I saw in the street about how she SHOULD be dealing with her kid!!!  Obviously, I kept those opinions to myself, but I had ‘em alright, oh yes I did!  Awwww hindsight!  You are one of the wisest teachers, aren’t you?

I was adamantly opposed to any form of censorship (“When I am a mom, I will let my kid listen to anything!  He needs to know what’s out there!  It doesn’t matter if people cuss around him!” Yeah right!).  I was never going to allow my child to co-sleep with me (“Kids need to be in their own beds!  It’s not natural for them to sleep with you!”)!   I was never going to let my kids watch TV (while I was able to keep K from the grips of the TV for 9 months, I have since succumbed!).  I was never going to let my child act up in public (as if I could stop him).  I was never going to allow him to sass me (as if I could stop the initial sass.  After the first time, I take care of it, but still).  I was never going to let my child run into the street (have you seen how fast this kid is?)!  I was never…and the list goes on!  

But here we are 15 months into motherhood and really…my main battles are minimal but they are a lot of work!  First, I have been trying to keep people from saying potty talk (poo poo, caca, stupid, shut up, idiot, etc) around K so that he continues to know that it isn’t ok to say such things.  The next thing is that he listens. When his teachers say to stop something, he has the tendency to say something to the effect of, “Hell to the No!!!!”  What I want him to say is, “ok!” And finally, I need him to remember that we don’t allow guns in our household!  While I am not morally opposed to guns, I just don’t want him “shooting” people.  He has used his wily mind to get around this by making everything a laser!  Really, son, a laser that sounds like a gun!!!  Hmmmmmm.  Do you think that you have tricked me?  I think NOT!  

Note to K:  And by the way, just because I let you watch TV, you have Defcon 1 meltdowns in public that I can’t control or anticipate, you slept in bed with me for over a year and you are still struggling with listening to your teachers and other adults—I won’t tolerate the gun thing homie!  Not one bit!

Big Brave Boy

This past year has been filled with extraordinary things.  I have learned so much about motherhood, being someone’s mama, myself and the fact that K might be “clingy” for a lil bit longer!  I know that attachment takes time and he immediately took to calling me Mama (Amaye) but goes through spurts of worrying that I am not going to come back.  In the early days of our family, he was CONSTANTLY underfoot.  I couldn’t leave the room without him looking for me.  When it was Mah-tah Mah-tah (night night) time, he would only go to sleep if I lay with him and he could be holding my hand.  He would ask, “Mama!  You still there?” right as he was about to fall asleep, knowing that I am still holding his hand and he could feel me.  Sadly, for many months, before he would fall asleep, I would, so my bedtime went from around 10/1030 to around 730/8!!! 

When dropping him off at school, we go through out cadence of, “You listen! (and he nods).  You behave! (and he nods).  I love you forever (and we hi-five).  And Mommy…” (and he says, “…always comes back for Kwali!”) and then we hug and kiss again!  I want him to know that what I say, I mean!  

So, fast forward 14 months!  K was still sleeping in bed with me.  Now, mind you, it isn’t like it’s cramping my budding social/active sex life or anything!  Puhlease!!!  It most certainly isn’t, but I also know that he needs to feel secure and know that I am trustworthy.  One of those ways is by knowing that, even when he sleeps in his bed, I am still here!  

And for the last 3 weeks, he’s been a champ!!!  We go through a bedtime verbal dance (similar to that of when I drop him off at school), but he has seemed to really be doing well.  He climbs into bed with me at around 530 AM, but I am ok with that.  He’s been falling asleep in his own bed and staying there!   I give him a treat in the morning for being Jeg-e-now (brave).  Like with anything…it’s a process, but we seem to be on the right track!  Thank ya Jesus!!!