Potty Talk

I will admit it, this holiday break I have allowed K to watch large amounts of TV.  For those of you who I see often, you know how I feel about the zombie box (AKA the TV).  I limit K’s TV watching and take it away from him when he isn’t “good”.  Sadly, he LOVES it and is thoroughly bummed when I don’t allow him to watch!  But this break, I have really been lax!  He has been able to watch abundant amounts of TV and has loved every second of it. We have played outside each day for at least 2-3 hours, but seriously, our days have been filled with a significant amount of TV time!!!

The problem I am running into is combating the amount of potty talk that my “approved” movies have in them.  Now, when I say “potty talk” I don’t mean cuss words.  K isn’t allowed to say things like “stupid” or “dumb” or “shut up” and it seems like ALL movies and TV shows say these words.  While I still only allow him to watch PBS shows and DVDs, it’s still a problem.  No matter what the character says, I let him know that we don’t say those words.  He repeats it back to me, but…I have noticed that when he’s playing with his Woody and Buzz dolls or with his trains, he is mindlessly repeating sentences and phrases from movies that have these words in them!  It’s driving me crazy, but how do you combat it?  I don’t want him to be the weird kid who isn’t allowed to watch ANY TV (he’s already got a white mom and no dad!), but at the same time, I don’t allow him to say those words.

So… my friends, your advice?  Or Miss Debbie—have fun next week!  Or maybe I should wish you, K, the best of luck—you might be spending a lot of time in the red chair next week at school!

National Adoption Awareness Month

November is National Adoption Awareness month!  Let’s get involved somehow in the orphan crisis worldwide, please?!

So Why Adoption?

I hear many people say that adoption is a great cause - “I’ll definitely look into it if I can’t have my own kids.”  While that is the reason many couples across the globe choose to turn to the wonderful method of adoption to bring little bundles of joy into their lives, it shouldn’t be the only reason one considers adoption. 

The Need

The need for loving families to adopt is great. In 2008, it was reported by the Children’s Bureau of the Administration for Children and Families of the United States Department of Health and Human Services that in America alone, there were 123,000 orphans (NumberOf.net).  But why should we? It’s not our fault their parents’ died or are abusers or druggies or have been put in jail, right? What does it matter to us?

As humans, we desire to help others and to heal the hurting.  The issue of orphans and the lack of adoption taking place to help them is a large problem in today’s world - a world we all call home.  Many organizations are reaching out and identifying the needs orphans face around the world.  Social workers, humanitarians, activists - all are seeing the need, the hurt, and going to being a better life to a child in need. 

Consider It

While I strongly believe that as many loving families as can should adopt, I am not saying it is for everyone or should be required for every family.  What I do strongly believe is that every family should at least consider the possibility of becoming an adoptive family, helping orphans in some way, or find a way to assist an adoptive family.  Adoption is not something every family can or should do. However, every person should help orphans in some way or another.  

My hope is that, this month, this blog will encourage you to consider ways to get involved in supporting the cause of the orphans and adoption.

What will your role be?

Letter to Z! Two Years Ago Today!

Dear Z,

Two years ago today, you relinquished your son!  I will never know the pain you went through to make that grueling decision.  I may never know the reasons for your decision, but all I can say is—thank you!  Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be his mother.  Without your significant sacrifice, I would never have had him in my life.  And you must know that my life has truly changed for the better.  Do you know that you are a topic of conversation around our home?  Do you know what his future would hold when you painfully released him?  Could you have imagined that we would write you letters on his birthday, Mother’s day, and the day he and I became a family?  Do you know that we pray for you in our nightly prayers?  You are truly a part of our family and that will never change!

Thank you for allowing me to raise him.  I know that thank you isn’t enough. It can never be enough!  It will NEVER be enough.  Having been his mom for 16 months, I know that having to part with him would be unthinkable, but you did indeed do just that.  Your overwhelming love for him is more powerful than my simple words can convey.  Your devotion to his well being cries out every time I look into his eyes.  I wonder how much he looks like you!  I wonder when/if I will ever be able to hug you, tell you how much I love and appreciate you, and then hug you some more!  I dream of the day that I will be able to tell you that you to your face are one of my heroes.  I wait for/long for/look forward to the day that K will be able to hug you too!  

So again, two years ago today, you made one of the toughest decisions that you probably will ever make and for that, I have to again say…thank you!  Thank you a thousand times!

Eh-wud-ish-ha-lo Z!

Big Brave Boy

This past year has been filled with extraordinary things.  I have learned so much about motherhood, being someone’s mama, myself and the fact that K might be “clingy” for a lil bit longer!  I know that attachment takes time and he immediately took to calling me Mama (Amaye) but goes through spurts of worrying that I am not going to come back.  In the early days of our family, he was CONSTANTLY underfoot.  I couldn’t leave the room without him looking for me.  When it was Mah-tah Mah-tah (night night) time, he would only go to sleep if I lay with him and he could be holding my hand.  He would ask, “Mama!  You still there?” right as he was about to fall asleep, knowing that I am still holding his hand and he could feel me.  Sadly, for many months, before he would fall asleep, I would, so my bedtime went from around 10/1030 to around 730/8!!! 

When dropping him off at school, we go through out cadence of, “You listen! (and he nods).  You behave! (and he nods).  I love you forever (and we hi-five).  And Mommy…” (and he says, “…always comes back for Kwali!”) and then we hug and kiss again!  I want him to know that what I say, I mean!  

So, fast forward 14 months!  K was still sleeping in bed with me.  Now, mind you, it isn’t like it’s cramping my budding social/active sex life or anything!  Puhlease!!!  It most certainly isn’t, but I also know that he needs to feel secure and know that I am trustworthy.  One of those ways is by knowing that, even when he sleeps in his bed, I am still here!  

And for the last 3 weeks, he’s been a champ!!!  We go through a bedtime verbal dance (similar to that of when I drop him off at school), but he has seemed to really be doing well.  He climbs into bed with me at around 530 AM, but I am ok with that.  He’s been falling asleep in his own bed and staying there!   I give him a treat in the morning for being Jeg-e-now (brave).  Like with anything…it’s a process, but we seem to be on the right track!  Thank ya Jesus!!!