“Did your husband leave you because you didn’t lose your baby weight fast enough?”

While on vacation for 2 weeks in Hawaii, this was part of a conversation that went awry very quickly.  What started off as a pleasant exchange about my son’s phenomenal swimming skills quickly turned into fightin’ words.

Within the first 2 days of being here, K became sort of an urban legend around the resort.  People who hadn’t met him had “heard” about his swimming dexterity.  Once they met the kid “with the name I can’t quite remember”, they were “oooh-ing” and “ahhhh-ing” about what a strong swimmer he is.  All seemed to be amazed that he could dive down to the deep end and use big pullers and kickers while kids two and three years older than him were using floaties or were deathly afraid of the water.  But this isn’t a post about his awesomeness—it’s about a rude lady.

This woman, whose name I clearly don’t know, so I will refer to her as Baby Boomer Sun Bather (BBSB) had to be in her mid to late 60s.  She kind of cornered me to talk to me about K.  She was going on and on about how she would love to have her grandkids swim as well as he does and how she is just so impressed by him.  Not only that, she kept saying how much she loved his confidence.  Then it happened—she added, “You and your husband must be so proud.  What a cutie and a he’s a great swimmer…”  When I told her that I was indeed proud of him but that I wasn’t married, she snorted and said, “Oh, did your husband leave you because you didn’t lose your baby weight fast enough?”  I really didn’t have any words for her at first.  Sadly, what I initially wanted to do was stand up and cuss her out and be like “Heffa can’t you tell he’s adopted? And ok, yeah, I could lose some weight, but for the love of everything holy, is that ok to say to someone?!  Anyone?” 

But I didn’t—she wasn’t worth it.  All I said was that I haven’t ever been married and that he was adopted.  She really didn’t want to continue the conversation after that, and I was ok with that.  What’s more disheartening is that I think her comments were a reflection of her own life.  Where would someone ever come up with something like that unless they were wounded so deeply to their core by that exact experience (or something very close to it). Part of me wanted to slap the crap out of her for calling me fat and the other part of me wanted to hug and tell her that it was ok and she could cry it out!!!

Eh, but such is life. I will continue living my amazingly wonderful life and she will continue living her miserable existence.