I get this question A LOT! As most of you know, I would label myself a Christian. Not a hate filled, elitist, Bible in your face and “you are wrong” kind of Christian, but a believer in a God of Love. I love the God of miracles. I love my God who is a Creator. I am a worshipper of the Most High God who doesn’t hate people. He’s a God who hung out with the “whores”, tax collectors, thieves, adulterers, and the outcasts of society! Now that’s my kind of God. He’s so my kind of people.
So…am I wrong for not “waiting” for Mr. Right to build my family unit? I have been told that I am by a few “well meaning” people. And to that I say: suck it! I read this blog by an adoptive mom on this subject and what she has to say is pretty awesome:
You can wait for that perfect man and waste valuable years that could have been spent raising precious little ones in desperate need of a mommy. Two parent homes are thought by many to be ideal, but really….who says that has to be? Ever asked an orphan? ‘Ummmmm, excuse me. I am single. I want to be a mommy……but I am waiting for a daddy…so in the meantime you sit there and enjoy that orphanage….cause I’m sure you’d rather be one of 400 kids….with no one to kiss your boo-boos or listen to your dreams while I sit over here waiting for Mr. Right.’ Yeah, I don’t think so. There are kids all over this world who are longing for someone to say, ‘You are mine and we’re in this together. We may not have a daddy at the moment (or maybe ever), but I will be your mommy’…. I applaud the courage of some of my friends who have said, ‘I am not married, but I can be a great mom and I’m not waiting for a husband to do that.’”
When I made the decision to adopt K, I knew the “risks” I was taking. I knew what I was getting into. I knew I’d be doing it alone. I knew that some people wouldn’t understand why I was doing it. I knew that I’d lose friends over it. I knew that people would judge me. I knew all these things and you know what? I didn’t care! I have multiple tattoos and multiple piercings, so I have been judged before and I am cool with it! I also knew what I would gain from it. And the pros completely out weigh the “cons”.
Would I love to be married? Of course. Would I love to have a partner who could “tag” me out of the ring every once in a while—HECK TO THE YES! Would I love for my son to have a daddy? Most certainly! Will I settle for just anyone? C’mon now, you know me better than that!
If you are a parent who has a partner, don’t judge me, help me! Love my kid because he’s awesome and strong and a survivor and funny and just pretty darn cool. If you know how difficult it can be to deal with a 3 year old (or any kid at any age), offer to babysit for me. If you have kids and you know how expensive it can be—quit reminding me y’all. Don’t keep saying, “I don’t know how you can afford it on a single income?!” Offer to buy him some clothes, buy us some groceries or pay my childcare for a week (or a month)! Geesh!
Be a problem solver not a problem pointer-outter, please. That’s what I did when I made the choice to adopt! 143 million orphans—minus one!
